Money and self-worth go hand in hand
I’m working on Worthy: Boost your self-worth to grow your net worth by Nancy Levin to try and get a handle on why my income goes up and down, and why I feel as if I have no control over it.
Nancy Levin believes that our relationship with money is directly related with our relationship we have with ourselves. I must agree. I’m about halfway through the exercises and I’m finding out a lot about myself I didn’t know.
I’ve been doing some serious internal work to come back from my breakdown 2.5 years ago and I thought I was finally getting to know myself pretty well, and also well enough to face some tough patterns that I’m obviously repeating as far as my money.
Even then I have learned things about myself and my history that have surprised me. This is very good. I need to know these things that I obviously haven’t seen before to be able to change my thinking and then change my beliefs about myself and money.
That’s not to say that it’s easy. I am beginning to realize that I’ve been giving away my power around money because of old damaging patterns I learned in my childhood, both from my mother and father. And that I’ve given away my own power in my personal relationships in a very similar way, unfortunately. One is really mirroring the other.
It’s a bit ugly actually. I value myself so much more now and I’m able to consciously see how much harder I’ve made my life for myself because of the damaging patterns I learned in my childhood. I am not blaming myself though. Nancy Levin is very clear about that. She reaffirms that we’re working through the book to get better at valuing our own self-worth so we can’t knock ourselves down because we are finding out things about ourselves that we didn’t see before.
So I’m not, and that’s not easy because my fallback position is to be harsh with myself. But that will only make it all worse. So I have promised myself that I will work through Nancy’s book with a positive open mind. So far I have been able to do that. But the work is hard and humbling and encouraging and transformative all at once. The way it needs to be to get any results.