Pissiness–Where does it come from and where does it go?
Have you ever felt grumpy for no particular reason, or at least nothing that you can put your finger on?
That’s me for the last couple days.
I’m not the grumpy type. So it just makes me grumpier to be pissy, especially when I’m not sure exactly why.
Usually my strength training class drains away any frustrations. This time, no dice.
Then I have a little chat with myself, “Okay, Jackie, what’s up? So you’ve been drinking coffee. That’s not that big a deal. So you’re having trouble sleeping and taking sleeping pills. It’ll pass. Okay, you’re achy. Well, you are training and you are perimenopausal so…no real surprises there.”
Anyway, my pissiness seems to be waning as I write this post. And then, come to think of it, I just realized I haven’t written a blog for a while. Maybe, just maybe, I’m missing it.
That sharing that comes with blogging.
As I drive to my favourite cafe I go through my affirmations for being a writer. And I usually feel better after that, but sometimes I still think being a writer isn’t possible. That it’s not a “real” job, whatever the hell that means.
Because here I am writing and I make my living writing and editing every day so…
I will let that ridiculous belief go and just write. My pissiness will disappear and I will eventually sleep better.
As my father says, “The only constant is change.” Ironic coming from a man who isn’t really good with it, but then maybe that’s why he always says that, as a reminder.
I get impatient with life, but at the same time I don’t want things to happen too quickly. An irony I have to face every day. That’s my Type A trying to force the world around me that’s more and more zen by my own choice.
So I’m happy to say my pissiness is gone, I’m not going to castigate myself about drinking coffee or needing a sleeping pill. I will accept that life moves as it moves, and that the only constant is change.