Perception transforms our choices
Choices, life is about the choices we make.
I’ve heard many wise people, people who I respect, say this. And to a certain extent it’s true.
But even more so I believe our life choices are based on our perceptions.
Only six months ago, I perceived my world very differently than I do now.
My inner world has changed–the way I perceive myself, who I am–and therefore my perceptions of my outer world have changed in stride as well.
Because I don’t see myself the same way, I don’t see others the way I did either.
I have found this change in my perception very freeing, and very transformative.
For me, it has been a very positive experience.
I am kinder with myself, more accepting of my mistakes and my ability to take responsibility for them, first within myself and then with anyone I need to.
I can face myself without shame or guilt, and that is very new for me.
And because I’m able to do that, I can face others without shame or guilt as well.
I can tell a person that I feel I’ve treated poorly that I accept that I did and that I’m truly sorry. I no longer expect myself to be perfect, and therefore I no longer expect anyone else to be either.
Because perfection sets everyone up to fail. No one can ever be perfect, so no one is ever good enough.
Living in a life perceived as continually unattainable is a recipe for guilt and shame to combine and grow.
And I lived that life until very recently.
There is a kindness about the universe, the world we live in, that I firmly believe in now.
But as I was growing up I didn’t.
I experienced pain and punishment and random cruelty.
So I brought that into my adult life unknowingly.
And that perception filtered through all the rest of my life. My relationships, my work, my connection with myself.
But now that that is over, my choices are very different. Even when I’m in the same situations as six months ago, my way of seeing them and therefore handling them is different. Changed. Transformed.
I am grateful for the people in my life who have not given up on me through it all. The people I love who have allowed me to make the mistakes, and come back after and apologize and move on.
It is through these generous people that I know deep down inside myself that my world is kind. And for me that has changed everything.
From the series, Because I’m a woman and because I can! by Jacqueline Snider, writer and editor
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