Disappearing death

Sometimes I feel as if I’ve disappeared.

When someone I love dies all the moments I shared with them end.

I move from being in a life with them to nothing. I end up with nothing. Their energy is gone.

I can remember how it felt to be in that space with them for a while, but then as time goes by I remember less and less.

And then I hear a noise that reminds me of them or think of a moment and they come back to me suddenly. They crash into me and take the air from my chest, make my throat tighten and tears come to my eyes.

But then just as quickly they are gone again. And I am alone, their energy broken.

The moment has been taken and I feel as if I’ve disappeared all over again.

For me this is death.

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