I sold my father’s house and I feel as if I’ve let him down. I feel as if my last physical connection to him is gone.
It’s not rational but that’s how I feel. And I stopped myself from driving by it today. I can’t go in it’s no longer mine, and of course he’s no longer there.
But all my last memories of him are tied up with that house.
I’m relieved it’s sold because in so many ways it was an anchor around my neck, weighing me down. Stopping me from making any forward progress.
But at the end all I could do was look after his damn house while I watched him waste away because he wouldn’t look after himself.
So the house symbolized my love for him in a way. And now it is gone. Just as he is.
And so I start another chapter alone. Trying to find my way without him and the house.