Your Word Goddess

Category: Friendship

• Journalling to honour myself: Writing has saved my life

  Posted at 3:07 pm by jacquelinesnider, on February 14, 2018

  

  Journalling through my life

  I have been writing a journal for over 35 years. I began as a young girl as a way to express feelings I couldn’t any other way. And also feelings I couldn’t understand.

  I didn’t have a safe person close to me that I could confide in. And even though my father is very kind, he doesn’t do emotions very well. Expressing them are not comfortable for him. He was affectionate with me as a child, but doesn’t say he loves me out loud. And me being very happy or excited by something or upset and crying, he just doesn’t know how to handle. Everything needs to be kept on an even keel for him.

  And he was the only adult in my life who was ever consistent and reliable and kind to me.

  So turning to writing was a natural way for me to express all those emotions, questions, ideas that come up all the time in my mind.

  Grateful for my journal

  And I’m eternally thankful for it. Journalling is something I do every morning and often before I go to sleep too. It’s like a form of meditation for me. It’s the way I talk to my inner being.

  I haven’t always been able to tell myself the whole truth, and therefore I would hide certain things from other people too, but I no longer do that. I have learned that feeling ashamed of who I am hurts myself most of all.

  Sometimes I felt ashamed for the way people treated me. I wasn’t in control of situations that came up when I was a child, and those experiences hurt me deeply. I carried that shame inside of me and as I matured and grew into a woman and mother they changed and came out in different ways.

  My journal knows all about what’s happened to me, and I have a shelf next to my bed with all my journals from all the years. They’re my private world that I believe is sacred, and a record of me growing as a human being.

  I can honestly say that I believe writing has saved me.

  How has journalling saved me?

  • It’s allowed me to express things I couldn’t tell anyone else.
  • It’s helped me feel rooted in my life, and a part of something larger than just any worries or concerns I have in my mind.
  • It also brings me peace. I feel more calm and centred after I write in my journal.
  • At it helps me connect with my inner voice, and that’s been invaluable.

  I was not encouraged to be truly who I am as a child, and so many people grow up that way. I was considered a black sheep by some of my mother’s family, simply because I am different. And my father’s family found me a scary element because I grew up in the “dangerous” city, while they lived in the country. There was no inclusiveness, it was more the highlighting of our differences.

  I have learned that I am who I am, and as long as I understand myself it doesn’t matter if others are able to see me for who I am or not. My family doesn’t but I have my friends and my tribe who do. I have my own life to live, and journalling will always be a big part of it.

   

  

  From the series, Write On! by Jacqueline Snider, writer and editor

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  Posted in angels, Blog, Blogging, Connection, consciousness, Denial, denying our self, fiction, forgiveness, freedom, Freelance editor, Freelance writer, Freelancing, Friends, Friendship, Grateful, Love, Magic, My tribe, Never give up, non-fiction, Novel writing, our behaviour, Our family, Our soul, praying, Re-connection, serendipity, Women's group, Worthy, Write on!, writing, Writing a book | 0 Comments

• Using plain language in self-help writing connects writers with their readers

  Posted at 1:30 pm by jacquelinesnider, on December 29, 2017

  

  Sometimes when I read self-help books, I have trouble with the language the writers have used to express their ideas.

  I’m a writer who is firmly in the simple language camp, and I’m not impressed when writers use flowery language or three-dollar words (as my mother calls them) to sound as if they “know” more than they do, or more than the average person.

  I have read many, many self-help books, and some of my favourite authors are Eckhart Tolle, Don Miguel Ruiz, Christiane Northrup, Elizabeth Lesser and Byron Katie for their amazing ideas and the plain way they have chosen to express them.

  It is not easy to talk about the self, but I still believe that catch phrases and cute words separate readers from the true ideas the authors are trying to express.

  Maybe the authors do this on purpose to seem distinctive, to stand out for their readers, or maybe they really talk the way they write, but I endeavour not to use jargon when I’m describing my experiences because I feel jargon separates me from other people.

  I do come from a psychology background having a BA specialization in psychology, which is heavily scientifically based. And therefore I have read countless research papers on the life of the mind that did not use any cute, catchy phrases at all.

  I know the DSM-5 likely has it’s own jargon, but that’s more so that psychologists and psychiatrists can speak to each other about the same conditions with the same words, not to sound hoity-toity. And that I understand.

  I like very much how Eckhart Tolle explains clearly what he means by the words he uses, and he openly admits that it is difficult to discuss consciousness and being on paper, and even with words. It is a presence or a sense of being after all. Something we feel and experience, not chat about with our hairdressers, for example.

  But still I felt this was a topic that I wanted to write about because a book I’m reading right now sometimes uses words that I feel put space between myself and their words.

  I’m also writing this as a caution to myself because any writer can get caught up with jargon, and I remember one of my editors told me something very profound, “If you can’t explain clearly what a word means then you can’t use it in an article.” And this is so true.

  I believe that for some writers words become a safety zone that they use to keep people away from their ideas, likely because they aren’t too secure with their ideas in the first place.

  I’ve done this and likely all writers have done this, especially when they are writing about something they don’t feel they fully grasp or have an in-depth knowledge about.

  So as I go on to express my inner experience, I will attempt to use as simple and clear language as I can. Because to understand myself is one thing, but to be able to clearly express my inner experience to others is something quite else.

  And that is definitely my goal.

  No one is alone in this journey we call life, and we all have our own inner worlds that we need to know and honour to fully grow in our lives.

  I am sharing mine, and in doing so I hope it helps you with your journey.

  Namaste.

  I bow to you.

   

  From the series, Because I’m a woman and because I can! by Jacqueline Snider, writer and editor

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  Posted in Blog, Blogging, Byron Katie, Christiane Northrup, Connection, consciousness, Don Miguel Ruiz, Eckhart Tolle, Ego death, Elizabeth Lesser, fiction, forgiveness, freedom, Freelance editor, Freelance writer, Freelancing, Friends, Friendship, Grateful, Hay House, Love, Magic, Never give up, non-fiction, Novel writing, our behaviour, Our family, Our soul, Personality disorder, praying, Re-connection, serendipity, spirit guides, spirituality, The Four Agreements, The Power of Now, Worthy, writing, Writing a book | 0 Comments

• Writing in a cafe: Freelancing perks

  Posted at 10:24 am by jacquelinesnider, on November 24, 2017

  

  I’m going to go edit in a cafe today. When I have paper edits to do, I like sitting and sipping my tea and working.

  There’s a nice cafe that I went into yesterday for the first time (good chocolate cake!), I’ll give it a try today.

  It’s conducive to serious thought with interesting interruptions because you see the locals and the people making coffee and handing out the sweets, and it’s peaceful and industrious at the same time.

  And being a freelancer, I need that contact with people. I often get to know the staff and some of the regulars. And since I’m new to the area it will be a good way for me to feel more a part of it all.

  If I really feel comfortable there, I’ll end up writing there too.

  Writing requires a certain focus that I can only attain when I’m comfortable with my surroundings.

  I’m sure if you’re a writer yourself or you’ve ever tried to write and been interrupted, you’ll know what I mean.

  When I edit I can be interrupted and get back into the work, but when I’m writing if someone interrupts me I can lose the end of a sentence, that amazing turn of phrase or just my focus in general, and that can be VERY frustrating. Especially when I’m in character in my novel. I’m in the moment and living what my character is doing or saying or feeling, and then BAM! someone wanders into my fictional world and brings me back to reality.

  How dare they!?

  And they often get a vacant look, then an angry stare and a short, gruff reply.

  The common phrase is, “Sorry to interrupt but…” Oh, yeah.

  Or the, “Mom, what’s for dinner?” I heard that endlessly when I lived with my son. He’d get up in the morning, stumble down to my office and that’s the first thing he’d say. Boys and food!

  And then they’d wonder why I’d take off every afternoon to my favourite cafe to work.

  To get some peace, and to be somewhere where no one wanted anything from me.

  Now that I’m living alone, I have a lot of both, but I still like getting out and the ambiance and social atmosphere of a good local cafe.

  This one even puts out really comfortable chairs out front in the nice weather where the locals sit and chat and read. How wonderful is that. There’s often a luxurious relaxed quality about living in a village by the water.

  When I lived in The Beaches in Toronto, it was the same thing. I loved living there.

  So I’m going to head out after lunch and try working at the local cafe.

  I’ll get some exercise, local flavour and some yummy tea and sweets. Hey, being a freelancer’s got to have its perks!

   

  

  From the series, Because I’m a woman and because I can! by Jacqueline Snider, writer and editor

  

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• Writing hot and cold: My novel’s taking me years

  Posted at 11:25 am by jacquelinesnider, on November 22, 2017

  

  I have been writing a book for about the last seven years or so. I’m about 80% through the first draft.

  It took me about three years to write the story line, and then another four years to write the first draft. Obviously, I’ve been working hot and cold on it.

  I really do want to get my first draft done, however.

  I already have people lined up to read my second draft for me. You know, people I trust.

  So I thought I’d post pieces of my book here on my blog to encourage me to write.

  You see I look forward to writing this blog every morning. I write in my journal first, as I sip my morning coffee, and that helps me organize my thoughts about what’s happening within me each day.

  And I am finding the interaction with people on my blog and reading other people’s blogs very inspiring and encouraging. ( Thank you to all of you who’re reading my blog by the way!) But writing a book is very, well, solitary. And I’ve noticed since my breakdown and my recovery that I’m much more comfortable being social than I used to be.

  For example, the idea of going to exercise classes didn’t used to appeal to me at all. I used to go to the gym and work out on my own. Now I only go to classes. I like the interaction with the trainers and the other people working out. Sharing the pain and the sense of accomplishment is very satisfying.

  And the same seems to apply to my writing. I used to find blogging harder. I didn’t used to look at other blogs much, and I didn’t blog consistently. I found writing my book easier, when I did it.

  Now I like blogging a lot and look forward to getting up to do it. Not only because I am expressing myself and other people are reading my thoughts, but also because I read other people’s blogs every day. I find them creative and funny and poignant. They help me grow.

  Bu that doesn’t mean I want to give up on my book because I see it as the first of a trilogy, so I have two more in me after this one. So I think I’ll post pieces of my book here and hopefully that’ll encourage me to write more regularly and finish my first draft.

  So here goes. This is the opening scene. It’s a young adult fantasy book.

  She was swallowed by the darkness of night as she crept through the Unknown Forest. It was like another world being alone in the forest at night. Liza could feel the movements of the creatures around her with her senses and with her body. She knew the forest so well, and yet, it was so mysterious in what it held. She could actually feel the energy of the creatures living within the woods, and that ability scared and thrilled her still.

  “You’d think after all these years I’d be used to this. I mean, how many times have I walked through these woods? Felt their energy? Hundreds of times probably throughout the years. Relax Liza, focus,” she said to herself, reassuringly, “Kilegra’s isn’t far now.”

  The trees became denser as she neared Kilegra’s small circular stone home, and with her anticipation she dropped her guard. The razorback emerged immediately in front of her, as suddenly as if he’d appeared in thin air. With lightning speed she pulled her knife as the razorback grabbed and held her by the throat, forcing her backwards into the trunk of a large tree. It was huge, over six feet tall, and weighed at least 300 pounds. Its razor sharp claws and central spinal armour made it virtually impossible to kill.

  Liza’s knife sliced into the beast’s vulnerable underbelly causing it to roar and pull back, releasing its hold on her neck. Liza coughed and drew in large, ragged breaths. Her back was against the tree still and she used its solidity to give her forward knee thrust all the more force. The razorback almost lost its balance and she used that moment to slam her knife into the beast’s inner thigh, drawing the knife down as far as she could through its vulnerable, unarmoured flesh. The beast roared in pain and fell backwards into the underbrush, leaving Liza standing over its bloody, screaming form.

  So I think this may really help me keep working on it because of course I read it again as I posted it and it takes me right into my characters.

  It seems that whenever I have work I get it done no problem, and my blogging is a real thrill, so writing the novel needs some TLC to get it done.

  So don’t hesitate to comment or give me some of your tips on how to keep writing. Being a writer is such an important art. There are so many books that have changed my life quite literally, I’d hate to die with the novel still in me.

   

  

  From the series, Because I’m a woman and because I can! by Jacqueline Snider, writer and editor

  

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  Posted in Blog, Blogging, Connection, consciousness, fiction, freedom, Friendship, Love, Magic, non-fiction, Novel writing, November in Canada, writing, Writing a book | 0 Comments

• Writing touches people: Because I’m a woman and because I can

  Posted at 10:54 am by jacquelinesnider, on November 5, 2017

  

  I feel as if I’m staying in a hotel or at the spa, and I realize that’s the only time I’ve been alone on purpose before. To recharge.

  But instead I’m at home, surrounded by my things and animals. Feeling, as I watch the planes fly past my living room window on their way to land, that I’ve made a really good choice being here.

  It’s really starting to feel good. To feel right.

  As I said before, it was one of the hardest choices I’ve ever made. I felt guilty for leaving my verbally abusive fiance, for renting an apartment by the water where I’ve wanted to live for years, and for choosing to live without my son.

  And it’s funny how things fall into place when you listen to your heart.

  My heart said, Leave your fiance! So I left after he was particularly abusive with me verbally, and I found and rented this apartment within a few days of leaving. Somehow I just knew in my heart that I had to get out of there. That I no longer felt safe with him emotionally, and I didn’t know if any physical abuse would follow.

  And the apartment I chose was where I really wanted to be. Living in a village by the water. It’s beautiful and busy, yet peaceful. There’s a relaxed sense of life here, and people stay here because life is good. And when I walk my dog every day, we walk by the water. We see the weather coming in and know that this is now home.

  And living without my son was hard at first. I missed his voice and his constant presence. But as the days went by I saw a change in him. He was starting to grow up. Learning to drive and enjoying not living with his mom. So all these choices, as hard as they were, have come to good in the end.

  And I have renewed a friendship with an old friend that’s also really helping me heal. Somehow we grew apart at one point, but now we’ve come back together. It’s been a miraculous and transforming experience for me.

  My friend has helped me realize the continuity of friendship. That my writing kept them in the loop as far as my life was concerned, and that they were thinking about me and even worried about me without my knowledge.

  And that has caused me to believe that relationships move on a continuum. That there is not really a true beginning or an end, but there’s a fluidity to life that I feel I’m only truly beginning to understand.

  And this has caused me to believe in my writing even more. And that is such a good thing. To never give up and keep reaching out.

  Because I don’t know who I’m touching.

   

   

   

   

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